Life lessons.

Today I came back from lunch and a coworker had left her personal keys on my desk. Attached to said keychain was a black metal rod approximately 5 inches long. I picked it up and it looked like a maglite, but I couldn’t find the bulb. So I unscrewed it and saw what I believed were batteries. So I screwed the cap back on, figuring that it was one of those laser pointers or a pin-light to find your door lock. Then I pressed the button located on the top of it. I then watched, in slow motion, a stream of yellowish/orange liquid spray out of the end. I had just shot myself in the leg with pepper spray. What followed was somewhat indicative of hysteria. Mostly on the part of my coworker, as I went gagging and teary-eyed into her office to admit what I had done. She immediately got a high, squeaky voice and lots of hand gestures asking me if I was okay. Then she went into my office and started gagging. This brought other coworkers with the same result. I then held my breath and went back in my office to turn on my fan. I decided I should probably try to rinse it off my pants, so I went to the bathroom to do so. Afterwards, I hung out in Michele’s office, and she continued to cough. I then realized that she was coughing because of me – it was still on my pants. Luckily, I am always prepared, and was able to change into gym clothes. However, as usual, I forgot one key component: shoes. So now I’m wandering around the office in ratty mesh shorts and a tshirt, socks, and no shoes. I also heavily sprayed my office with Lysol, which seems to have done the trick.

I should’ve listened to my mother: “keep your hands to yourself” and “don’t mess with things that don’t belong to you.”